B) Focus on the perpetrator’s actions ​ ​

Studies show that between 21% and 60% of victims of intimate partner violence lose their jobs due to factors directly related to the abuse they experience. This statistic highlights the significant impact that abuse can have on various aspects of a survivor’s life, including their economic stability and employment. It is essential that our language and actions reflect this reality. Survivors often have limited control over the situations they face, and framing conversations in a way that acknowledges their lack of control helps avoid blaming the survivor and prevents re-traumatisation.

Instead of asking, “What could you have done to stop this?”, it is more supportive to shift the focus to the perpetrator’s actions. For example, asking, “What tactics did the abuser use to manipulate, deceive, or coerce you?” shifts the responsibility to the perpetrator and acknowledges the survivor’s experience. This approach not only validates the survivor’s experience but also reinforces that the abuse is never the survivor’s fault.