Intent versus impact

In trauma-informed communication, it’s essential to recognise the difference between intent and impact:​

• Intent refers to the motivation or underlying reason behind our words and actions—what we hope to achieve or convey. In the case of the couple, your intent may be to help them organise their care plan effectively and provide the necessary support.​
• Impact, on the other hand, is how your words and actions are perceived or experienced by the other person. Despite good intentions, the couple may feel frustrated or overwhelmed by the constant changes in scheduling or the perceived lack of control.​

When we want to care for someone, we may come with empathy blocks which creates more impact and disconnection.

Example

Statement: “You’re doing a great job with this family.” ​

• Intent: To reassure and relieve distress, pain, or suffering ​
• Impact: Disconnection, shut down (unless you specifically requested reassurance!)​

Our brains are designed to solve problems​

We don’t think that just being with the other person and hearing them as supportive. The need for understanding is a very deep need for humans. Accompanying someone in this way is a skill.​