Learn more about psychological abuse and its impact. Need someone to talk to? Call our free support line!
Psychological abuse does not always leave visible marks, but its impact can be profound. Often subtle and insidious, it chips away at a person’s confidence, sense of self and emotional wellbeing. Many survivors tell us that the harm caused by psychological abuse was harder to identify, explain or escape than any other form of harm they experienced.
At NAPAC, we understand how disorienting and isolating this can be. Through our support line and recovery services, we hear every day from people who are working to rebuild their lives after psychological abuse. Drawing on those insights, this article offers practical guidance and gentle encouragement for anyone affected by this issue.
The psychological abuse definition encompasses patterns of behaviour that harm an individual’s emotional well-being and sense of self-worth, such as manipulation, intimidation, and constant criticism.
Psychological abuse involves the use of threats, humiliation, intimidation, manipulation and control to cause emotional harm or exert power over someone. Unlike physical abuse, which may be more easily identified, psychological abuse often happens over time and behind closed doors. It can occur in any setting, including family relationships, romantic partnerships, workplaces, religious institutions or care arrangements.
People who have experienced psychological abuse often describe feeling ‘erased’. They are unable to trust their own thoughts or feelings, and uncertain about whether what they are experiencing even qualifies as abuse. The confusion is part of the harm. But let us be clear: if someone is using emotional pressure or control to undermine your freedom, your confidence or your wellbeing, that is abuse.
One of the most damaging aspects of psychological abuse is its hidden nature. Abusers may use gaslighting, where the victim is made to question their own reality or memory. They may employ coercive control, making the person feel trapped or dependent. Common tactics include isolating someone from friends or family, excessive monitoring, undermining their decisions, constant criticism or threats to harm themselves or others.
These behaviours can escalate gradually, making it harder for survivors to recognise what is happening until they feel completely entangled.
The effects of psychological abuse are far-reaching. Survivors may experience depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress symptoms or a loss of identity and self-worth. They may find it difficult to trust others, assert themselves or form healthy relationships. Some describe living in a constant state of fear or self-doubt, even after the abuse has ended.
At NAPAC, we believe that understanding the emotional impact is critical. Survivors need validation and support, not judgement or disbelief. Our trauma-informed approach is centred on empowerment, empathy, and the knowledge that healing is possible.
Psychological abuse can be recognised in law, depending on the nature of the behaviour and the context in which it takes place. In England and Wales, it may fall under the offence of controlling or coercive behaviour in an intimate or family relationship, introduced in the Serious Crime Act 2015. This law applies when a perpetrator repeatedly or continuously engages in behaviour that causes their partner or family member serious alarm or distress or has a substantial adverse effect on their day-to-day activities.
The law acknowledges that abuse can be psychological and not solely physical. However, the thresholds for prosecution are high, and many survivors do not see their experiences reflected in legal outcomes. Psychological abuse that occurs in other contexts, such as the workplace or in institutional settings, may be more difficult to pursue criminally, although it may be relevant in civil cases or safeguarding investigations.
This is why it is so important for those affected to receive specialist support, regardless of whether they choose to report to the police.
1. Create safe, validating spaces
Whether you are supporting yourself or someone else, the first step is often being believed. Simply listening without judgement can be powerful.
2. Access trauma-informed therapy
Therapeutic approaches such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR), or relational therapies can help people make sense of their experiences and begin to heal.
3. Try self-help strategies
Grounding techniques, mindfulness, journaling, creative expression and gentle physical movement can help regulate emotions and reconnect to a sense of control.
4. Build supportive networks
Peer support groups, whether online or in person, offer an opportunity to share experiences with others who understand. Rebuilding trust can begin with small, safe steps.
5. Take your time
Healing is not linear. It is okay to grieve what was lost or stolen. It is also okay to celebrate moments of strength, however small they may seem.
Psychological abuse may be hidden, but its effects are real. Survivors often carry a burden of shame or confusion that is not theirs to bear. At NAPAC, we want every survivor to know that you are not alone, and there is no right or wrong way to recover. With the right support, it is possible to rediscover who you are and to rebuild your life on your own terms.
If you are an adult survivor of psychological or other forms of childhood abuse, our support line offers free and confidential help. You do not need a diagnosis or a clear memory to reach out. Just the sense that something was not right is enough.
Call us on 0808 801 0331 or email support@napac.org.uk to speak with someone who understands.
We are a very small team and it can be difficult to get through. Please try at different times rather than re-dialling repeatedly as our team dedicate time to finish each call. We offer 30 minutes of supportive listening with signposting if that is relevant to your needs, but we cannot offer on-going support or counselling.
We also offer support by email – support@napac.org.uk
NAPAC’s series of booklets for survivors and those who support them are free to download
and are also available in audio format.
The National Association For People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC) © is a Registered Charity in England and Wales.
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